I is MuGen AhBengKia - Episode 1

One day, I is be walking in the street, looking for the bestest kopi-o that I is likes so much. I is not remembers where is it., so I is tries using my GPS. I is tries to find but the place is too ruler, cannot licate, so I is to be tries my bestest to find it. Lessons be today, not all the times latest tech can helps you. After turning into a alley, I is remembers where is it! It's be in front! I quickly walk towards it then i heard a loud shouting from far far. I turn my head towards it, and I saw a group of peoples in black chasing a person in yellow. They is runs fast! Towards me! Then the person being chased looks like another ahbeng like me! I taught I is be looking at mirrors. And I banged on me...i is mean HE bang on me. Both of us fall to the grounds. And the peoples in black surrounds us. The persons banged on me says to me help...and then he got to sleep! Hey! I is still don't know what happens. The peoples who chases him got confusing because got two face same. I is confusing too. But I pretends I is be good, I is strong because I has MuGen powers. That's why my English names is MuGen, MuGen AhBengKia. The peoples in black surrounds me looks like want to fights me. I is not scared. Because Bruce Lee is be my sifu. I is always learns from him when I watch his DVD. I is also knows his 3 inches punches, if you don't believe you can watch my youtube video. I is got show. If you want me to teaches you, call my numbers..,waits, lets me be fights them first. I stands up and open my legs and starts to jump a bit. Then one of them come and punch me, and I Kacha!! He is be down...they be got scared. Then two is coming, one front one back. ..so I Kacha! here and Kacha! Back. They two downs. Then I uses my right thumb to touch me nose a bit with the left hand flipping ask them to come. Then, this time four is come! This time too many to Kacha, so i just Kachaaaaaa! them off. They all be downs. Then the rest is histories, they is be runs away. All of them. So left be me and me, I mean the ahbeng who look like me, but I is be handsomer than him. He is be hurt here and there. Though I is not know him, I is carry him to homes and cure him. I is not go hospital because I is not want peoples asks many questions... To bes continues.

Is easy to invading Malaysia

We are in combat times, you is see U Ass A invades Muslim country here and there. You is must remember we is although not Muslim country, but many of peoples give misinformations we is Muslim country, and this is will be confusing the U Ass A who will be thinks we really is Muslim country. So is conclusively we will be invades by U Ass A soon or laters. Now, when other Muslim country is be invades, they is fight back! But if we is be invades, we is cannot fights back, because, our jet fighter aeroplanes is got no engines! Because is all stolen and selling as second parts for a few buggers to making money. How to fights? Surrender and becomes their slaves of U Ass A better.Truth or not?!?

JPOP!!!

Last times when I young I like to listening JPOP! Ahbeng is like that one mah, don't understand Japanese but is still like JPOP. Reasons is because the singers is really cutes mah! Oh, sorry, not cutes, is kawaii!!!

But as I grows older I no more listens JPOP. But recentlys I is listening to JPOP again! I is listen to Ayumi older songs, is goods!!! She is also so kawaii! But that days my japanese friend say in
Japan people calls Ayumi is Cyborg! She is be call that because she is so much plastic surgery on her face, hahaha! I is likes also Miki Ohguro, her song La La La listen already also make me want to singing together.... La la, la la la, la la la, la la la!!!!

Malaysia interrogation techniques

Everyones, how is you be doing? I is backs finally! I long times no blogging because is busy with works and travellings, many things also is happens. Malaysia is becomes more and more weirds and chaotic. Some things really beh tahan. Like recentlys one young promising opposition guy is been called by MACC for interview. But they is interrogation him instead. They is use interrogation techniques like sleep deprivation on this poor guy. And then the next day people is discover this guy dead at the 5th floor of the building where he is gets interrogating. Who is the MACC thinks they are? They think they are Guantanamo Bay ar?

Malaysia Main-main-streams Media

Recently is another by-elections in another town in Malaysia, where is many people believing that is measurements of the popularity of the ruling party. It is closely watches by medias from other countries besides Malaysia Main-main-streams Media.

So before the by-election the Malaysia Main-main-streams Media is reporting that the people in the town all supports ruling party, nobody liking opposition, ruling party is goods for country, ruling party sure win and so ons.

But just before the by-elections, I is luckily in a neighbour country for project, and I watching TV there in the remote and tiny budget hotel rooms my client put me in. (I am watching TV and not going out to fun is because I is so poors, my company giving me so small allowance, so I stay in the hotel rooms and watch TV lor) so anyway the media from our neighbour also sends reporter to the town to reports! And the reporter interviews the peoples from the town, and what they saying is totally opposite from what our reports!!!

Got one man interviews say not he don't want give ruling party chance, but because he giving them too many chance already, so this time he is be voting opposition! And got one woman, say she no likes the way the ruling party play politics, so she is wanting to voting opposition!!! But she is be wanting only, she cannot really vote, because when she go to register, they is telling her according to the records, she is already dead!!! Wah piang!! Why our Malaysia Main-main-streams Media not reports that? They should make special report on the living dead in Malaysia, like the Night of the Living Dead, or the Dawn of the Dead, or I am Legend like that.

So I want to say, hey Malaysia Main-main-stream Media, please make proper reporting and stops main-main with us, okay?!?!!

Ahbeng are really be Mugen Power

Recently is a terrorist attacks in India, where is many civilian and foreigner dies. Now are high alerts there and many peoples is not dares to go India anymores. However I is got project there now, and I am going there! My other ahbengs friends saying I is crazy, got high alerts are still going. But so sads that no pretty ahlians telling me not to go, they is no cares I die or life. Anyway, I tells the ahbengs, what to do, my boss don't caring my life still wanting me to goes there regardless of dangers, he just wanting projects to finish and collects money.

Then I is realising, I is always going to dangers place for work, last time got SARS I going Hong Kong, got Birds Flu I going Vietnam, got Earthquake I going China, now got Terrorist I going India. And so fars no problems with me!! It be meaning me are really Mugen Power, hahaha!!

Only Tsunami that time I is at home, because that time is after Christmas, because I no travelling when Christmas times, because hotel and plane very expensive! I is very poors, you know...

Update :-
Wah...I hopes my boss is not gets a project in Gaza now... I better resigns...hahahha

Feesicktion

That days I is goes to one of the foods court in a big shopping malls. The casher is be a not chinese and not india ladies. I is be orderes a cup of ice milo and I don't want ice. Then the ladies is be take ice a little bits and put the milo into the cup in fronts of me. I is quickest stop her and tell her I is not want ice. Then she stop quickler. Then she is try to take out the ice with a spoons. But because the milo is fewest, so she cannot take out. She is be so smarts and add more milos intot he cup and let the ice to comes up, and then she is be take outs the ices!! She is be so smarts! I is so impresses. I is so thought, she is not be a casher there, she is supposes be a roket saintease or a feesicktion is be betterest. kaka.

Police winning award

Today in the papers I is read that our police just winning powderful award for implements of the C4i system, which is can helps crimes disappear.

But the whole worlds also is knowing that our police also famous for using C4 for making problems disappear, hahahaha!!!

Many earnings moneys and never close shop business

I is thinks many of yous have been know that, a lot of business, if they is service no good, customer complains, then customer no come, then no business. If no businees, the shop can be close.

For example, I is works in a softwares companys, If my softwares always got bugs, and customer complains, and I is not solves them, Customer is beh song with me and my company, then they is find another software companys or don't use softwares at alls. They is use hand writes.

Another example, if the food stalls you is go is not nice, then the next time you also will not goes. then you is tell your friends not to go. Then your friends is to tell your friends friends not to go also, then in the end, the semua world will know that food stall is be not nice, then nobodys go, and then the food stalls is be close shops.

But there is two kind of business is always win moneys, no matter how bad their service and products ares, they is still have customers and never close shops! I is not talking about ga,bling, cause gambling is be can close my governments, so in the end will close shops also.

Ok, the first business is doctors. If you is a doctors, please dun read this parts, because it is going to make you smarterest or make you feel distresses because I is goings to talk bad about you. Doctors can have many patients in one days. They is can give bad bad service, showing patients bad and angry faces, the patients still is be comes. If the doctor tries to cure the patients who is dyings, but in the end the patients dies, and the family members of the patients have sick, they is still goes back to the doctors. I is not knows whys....Is either the doctors is be too leng chai, or very good in talkings or the family members have no memories or what, that's why they is still go? If the doctors is rudes and always gives no hopes to the patients, the patients is still go back to the doctors, even the patients is be know they is no cure anymore!! Wah...if I is tells my customers that my softwares is be no cures, then I think my customers dunno flies where liao! And whatever the doctors be said, the patients is still trusts the doctors even the doctors cannot give a good and definite answers....like that I is also can be doctors la, I can always say just like the doctors say "Hmm..Maybe is that, We is still be waits for the tests results" or "Hmm...we is gives you this medicines to try, you is comes back next week and let me see" or "Sorry, I is cannot cures you"...only thing I is read less book only....but dun lies me la...Doctors, if you is still readings this part, you is really pai la...

Second business is be needs big budgets. The business is be parkings. No matter how bad is be the parking, you is still find there is be cars parking at the parkings. The parkings can be very hot because of the sun, is be very hard to find parkings, because too manys car, or is be too expensive, or because the roads is be hole here and hole there, or you is not likes the parking man who is always show you face, but you is still find you takes your cars parkings at the same parkings. So the business is be no close downs.

I think there are manys more business that can earns moneys and never closed stall. But I is have only one minds, I can think two only, if you is can think, let me knows also. Maybe we can starts business togethers and we is partners. But first, we is need to be call brothers ...

Happy Deepavalis

Today is be happy deepavalis or somesay is be happy deevalis. It's be the same meaning. This day is a big day for india people. They is celebrated this day is because they is celebrated victory on the ghost.

Today is be the day victory on the ghost, but I see manys ghost! One of the india restaurants having open houses(restaurants?) to invites every people to eat for free! That is be why there be many diffrent people going there and eats. Of course, I is kiasu enough I also go la! When I is reach there, I feel like I is one of the hungrys ghost trying to get the foods because all foods is be surf by self. That means you is have to gets the foods yourself which is make the situation like everyone is be hungry ghosts.

They is be surf muttons currys, chickens currys, and be dal currys. They is also surf roti canai, puttu and bee hoon and so on. Everyone is be like never eats currys before trying to take as manys as they coulds be. I is see china people, malays people, india people and also iran people coming to eats! This is see the currys is so powderfuls and manys poeple comes to be eats.

After eating full, havings many currys, I is so satisfy. I is thought today I eat so many currys, and many people also eats so many currys, so many currys has eating, So I is thought today is be Dip-a-Currys!

p/s :- powderfuls, I is still burpiings with curry smells...I is to be skip my lunches and dinners.

Writings Eisay

During younger times, the teachers always tests me writings eisay, no matters what is the language be. I is thought I is very powderful in my engrish , my malays, my china eisays, but my teachers always gives me very lowest mark for all my eisays. I is not understands whys is that.

Today I is understands why I is always gets be lowest marks for all my eisays. Even is me glamer very powderful, my sentence always full of flowers here flowers there, but the teachers is be not likes my eisays. It's just because my expression is be not good! It's be not my glamer or my vocab not be good! If it's just my expression is be not good, they is not gives me lowest mark because is be not my langange problems, is be my expression problems! All is be blames all them that they don't be understands me! How can they is expect me to have good expressions!? They is langange teachers only and not psyciatry! I also don't expect them to teaches me to expresses me, but they is expect I is expresses me?!

Simply changing roads name

Our government is have peculiar habits. Suddenly likes to changing familiar roads name to some name which is no meanings. Recentlys, a famous road in KL, where I last times use to goes with my gang for eats late nights supper, because have many good foods, and is opens until lates lates. The road is famous with also many men is goes looks for companionships at nights. But now the place is cleans up already, just famous for foods. So the authorities be nothing to do, quietly is change the name another name. Everyones is making noise, say no goods reason to changes, blah blah blah. Then the is explain the new road name which meaning is the planets Venus. So I is thinking now that is a appropriately name, since last times is famous for men is looking for companionship at nights, hahaha!!! So our government is not so stupids do things without reasoning.

Safe the Cifilens, safe the worlds!!

Today I is reads the newspapers. It's be says that there is one areas is be dangerous. Dangerous is because of robbers, snatches and many many bad guys. The areas is be dangerous nevermind, they should be puts manys more policeman in that area. That is be the logic right?

But I is reads on I reads somethings is be not logic at alls! They says the places is be dangerous, so they is need to move the policemans out from that place to protect the policemans. WAH!! I is don't knows I is should be laughs or cries!

If they move the policemans out from that place who is protects the cifilens there? Are they is be to move the cifilens out from that place to protect thems also?!? WAH!! I really cannot stands. I is bang my head on the wall also cannots understand why or wat is they doing?!?

The ringing in the middles of the night

Last nights I is having dinners with my friends at a place far far away call Teluk Gong. Is so fars, I is drives nearly 1 hours to reaching! So we is there and we is eating seafoods and also we is drinking their special drinks, which we locals calling todi! But is because we is having 1 French couples with us my friend is have to explains to them todi is means coconut moonshine! hahaha... So it is nice and I is drinks and drinks and drinks a lot, until I is drunks, as usuals. So after dinners is so lates and is such long drives back homes, I reaches home nearly midnights. So after washing up and onlines to check my emails from ahlians, I is finally sleeps, I is also so numb numb after all the todi....when I sleeps is 1.00 am alreadys. Then suddenly I is wakings up by my phone ringings! I is shocks awake, was so drunks so I is press the Ignore Call buttons. Then it be ringings again!!! So I having to answer is, because if I press Ignore Call again and the caller calls again and I press Ignore Call again then I think will continues until mornings.
Then when I answers, is a China Girl, speakings in Mandarin, askings me "Have you arriving in your room yet?"

I croaks "Wrong Number" in England, why I use England and not Mandarin is because I was drunk mah, cannot thinks properly. So she is realising she press wrong numbers, she quickly disconnecting the calls. By then I was headaches, dehydrates, and still drunks, but was so angrys that I cannot sleeps. So I was turning and turning for 2 hour before I finally sleeps again. So I was be feeling so sleepy the wholes day..

Maybe later I will calls the number and tells her in Mandarin that "Yes, I am in my rooms already!", and see she how reacts! Hahaha!

Plainning Sittings

After attends so many manys weddings, I is founds out one very good tip for those who are getting merries. I is founds out if you is be having a weddings dinners special those chinese weddings dinners. You is be invitings all your relatives, friends, coldlegs, and many others.

But when you is be invites your relatives, friends or coldlegs, you cannot invites ones only, you is be invites all of them even thoughs you dun liking them. If this is the case, you have to really plains your sittings at the dinner hall. You have to find out 3 things from the place.

First thing you is be find out where is the toilets. Then second thing you is be find out where is the speakers. then the third thing is be easy, you is to find out where the highway is...usually is be near kitchen or door to another hall.
Then you is be plains the sittings for those people you is beh song near those place.
For exampers, if you don't like your uncles and your anties, you can put them nears the toilets, it's be smelly place to sit, they is will be not comfortable for whole night. If you don't like one of your friends, you is be put them near the high way where allt he waiters and waitersess walks, sometimes pushing his chair, so he is be not comfortable too. If you is don't like your boss, you can be put them near the speaker, better with karaoke,is be loud loud, he can't even hear a thing. He maybe gets a bad dream that nights after the dinner.

If you can find all these three things are all togetherat one place, please contacts is be me, tell me what's the restaurant. I is wants to know. thanks.

Olympic Jams

Two week ago is highly anticipating events, is be opening of Olympic be in Beijing, China!

The chinese ethnic peoples have been waiting for it for many years, and finally is be here! Of course in Beijing, a lots of peoples also be kicked out from their long time staying houses because the government is wants develops the location where their long time staying houses is be for the foreign devils visitors who is be visits Beijing for the Olympic.

Of course, ahbengs and ahlians all over the worlds is also be eagers waiting for it. It is on auspicious date date 08/08/08, is goods number for chinese peoples. Even although chinese government is be communist they is still choosing auspicious number, hahaha....

So on that days, I is working, so I thinking I will go home slightly later instead of very late from work to watches the opening ceremony. (Normally I is works until 8:30pm at least, but that days I is thinking I leaves early so that can watches) So I is leaving office at 7:15pm, because usuals from office to house is taking me 15 minute in my Protons. But once I reaches LDP I get stucks in a LONG LONG JAM!!! Why everyones want to drive at that time? All also wants to go see Olympics ceremony!!!

That night it taking me 1 HOUR to reaches home!!! I reaches house already 8:15pm already ceremony starting. I is so hungry and angry I go shower and eats dinner without watching the ceremony. Beh song liau....

Izzi is not eazy at all!!!

I is beary beh song with Izzi!! I is applied two weeks before cause I is want to try if it's be fast. I is try, the first day is be fast and fast I is use it be happily. then the second day, is be beary slower and slowest! I is thoughts gives it a chans so I is try the thirds day, is be fast again, so I is happy happy using. Then the fourth day I is not at home so I is cannot try. Then the fifth be day, it's be not consistent but still be accepts. Then the six day I is want to do things urgents and sends be the file, then the line is be cannots! So I is be frustrating then want is be return. And when I return, they is say charge me 180 cause I is downloads more than 3MB!! WAH!!! What is this!?!? Is they out of they mind?!? I is really not be satisfy. They is say can give me 7 days free trials and can be refund me back all my money but now they is wanna charge me money!! How is be can?!?

I is gives you one examples, if first day the line is goods cause they is purposely gives me good good, so you surfs and downloads be happily lor, then the second day it's be not good, so you wanto return, then that people says you is be downloads more than 3MB and want to charge you, you is boh song right?!?!

Where is can be like that wan?!?!

Petrol raise high high

Last is be weeks, my countries is be raise petrol price high high. Is be so high high everyone is be so feel not nice about. The country government is announce the petrol price raise high high late late, everyone is be kiasu and go petrol station be pumps petrol to be safe as much as they can after work. Every petrol station is be beary jam and pack. All the roads back to home also beary jam, I is reaches homes beary late even I don't go pumps petrols!

I is thinks the governments should announces the petrol raise high high than early before. So everyone is be got times to go pump petrols and safe the mostest. But manys only knows about it in the evening. I think governments should be announcing it the petrol price raise high high, but do not run it first, then declare a public holidays the next day so everyone is be got times to pumps petrols, then the next day only raise high high. Everyone is be more happier like that. Now many peoples cannot pump petrols and petrols price raise high high but people still need to leave and go to work, so manys is be not happys...

Eventfuls trip to KKB

Last Saturdays I goes with parents to KKB (Kuala Kubu Bharu) for visiting my grandmother. KKB is be nice town, quiets and lot of trees and shades is so pleasants. We drinking kopi at the kopi-shop, we walks walks and talking to the peoples there, they is so nice and pleasants and helpfuls.

Then on the ways back I is driving, then suddenly we saw a indian soul brother on a motorcycle in fronts of us crash hards into a white Wira which is stops at at emergency lane. I see him flies up in the air turn 2 circles and landing on his backsides on the slow lane. Luckily he be fats man, so he got a cushion fall. He very quickly gets up and limps to the side of the road, very lucky no cars behind him, if not car will go over him and he no more in this worlds. Lucky also I is driving in middle lanes, if not for sure I will runs over him! That time I will be feeling guilty for sure..... it was really hards crash, his motorcycle is smashed, the engines and wheel flying all over the highway, the front brakes was falls in fronts of my car I had to swerve to avoids it. Scares me.

Mafia in my countries!

Just now, I is be walkings to works, I is see two white mans. They is have two cars. One of them is like the man in the movie names Kill Bill. I is cannot remember what is the name they is calling him in that movie, but he is be the beautiful brides wants to kill. His hair is just the same with be the man in Kill Bill. All his hair comb backside.

Then there is be another man taking things from his car butts, I is not knows what he is be taking but I is not ask. I is scared he is taking out guns and shoot me then I die then I is be no needs works.

But reallys, faces they is have are really is be mafias faces. I is so scared, I is walk fast fast hopes if they is really fights or if police is be comes, I is not becomes the people they catch and don't let me goes. If they is be really catchs me, and is be wants kills me in fronts of be all policemans, I is to tells him to shoots me corrects. I is to ask him shoots be my heart or my head. If he is be shoot my legs or my hands, half live half die, is be beary pains...